I came to the realization when my daughter was almost 1 that she was going to have some doctor issues if I didn’t intervene sooner rather than later. Of course, the child life specialist in me saw an opportunity to channel everything I learned into helping my own tiny human. Here’s some general tips and guidance for all you mommas and child life specialists out there to start at a very young age how to teach your babies to be comfortable with the doctor.
Buy a simple doctor kit - start letting your little ones get familiar with some of the things they’ll see while at the doctor. Talk about the main things they’ll have done. Practice weight and height by going on your own scale and measuring them, use your scale and a pretend tape measurer or actual one. Use a stethoscope to listen to their heart and lungs. Take a popsicle stick and have them open wide. Check ears with the pretend play otoscope. Last, but certainly not least talk about shots and pretend to give them/get them!
Most parents/mommas shy away from talking about shots at all. It’s the voodoo topic that they don’t want to subject their kids to but it’s so, so important to talk and practice what they’re going to see, feel and experience. I started at 1 telling my daughter she was going to feel a little “pinch” or “poke” and it would hurt for just a second! After that she would get a big girl band aid and it won’t hurt, maybe just feel a little sore. By giving them a heads up you’re going to gain trust and have a much better experience at the doctor.
If you already have a child that has had a negative experience it’s going to take more time/effort to re-shape their feelings towards the doctor. By always building your doctor up, for example saying “your doctor is here to make you feel good/healthy” or “your doctor just wants to make your body feel good” instead of saying things like “I’m sorry they have to give you a shot” or “they have to give you a boo boo”. You want them to be seen as the good guys instead of the bad guys. You always want them to trust people that they are there to help. If that means making yourself the bad guy, its better than blaming the doctor. You never know why or for what reason you’ll need to bring your kids into the doctor and you need to keep it as positive an experience as possible.
Advocate for your child to be held by you! These in the child life world are called “comfort positions” and you can reference this chart if your doctor/nurse isn’t sure what they are:
It is so important for you to advocate to hold your child if that’s going to calm them. At my pediatrician after age 1 it is common practice to hold my kids on my lap. Under 1 we lay them down and I lay at the head of the bed and gave my babies their pacifier to calm them during (see swaddle above) and nursed right after. Sometimes you can even nurse during to help calm your baby (see second photo down). If your nurse is reluctant to allow you to hold your baby/child, please confidently and respectively ask them to try it. Tell them you will hold your child’s arms so they don’t grab and you will give them a very tight, firm hug too. You can practice at home with your child before you go. Even if they squirm, the nurse should have a good grip of their arm or leg and be able to give it. By allowing your child to sit, rather than lay down, you are giving them a more natural experience and more control of the situation.
5. Talk ahead of time and give them the option to count down (3, 2, 1) or count up (1, 2, 3) or not count at all. Also tell them they can look or look away. These are two huge choices that give them more control in the moment. Talk it over with your nurse when they walk in. Say “Danny would like it if you could count 1, 2, 3 and give him his shot and he’s going to look because he feels more comfortable watching”. These are simple options that should be easily respected by your nurse or doctor.
6. Use age appropriate amounts of time ahead to prepare them. I talk to my 2 year old on the way to the doctor and say “we may have shots today, when we get there we can talk more about it. Do you have any questions for me right now?” But for 4-8 year olds you can let them know the morning of. Maybe you have a child who is very fearful, you can wait until you’re at the doctor too. Talking about it ahead will hopefully make them feel better, not worse but gauge where your child is. Age 9 and up can probably know a good amount of time ahead (day before or week before if that helps them). If any age asks about what to expect at the doctor you should always give an honest answer at whatever time they ask.
These are a few things I’ve done with my daughter for a while (age 2.5) and now my son
(Age 8 months). My daughter does an incredible job now! She had her 2 year old shot and watched the whole time, not a single tear. I always tell her it’s okay to cry though. Crying is a natural response to pain and should never be shamed. It’s amazing how much she understands and does a great job.
I love my pediatrician and they’re incredible at working with me to give my children the best experience. Hopefully, yours is too but don’t feel like you can’t ask. It may just be a matter of educating them about something they aren’t comfortable with. If you have any other questions feel free to email or DM me.